Essex Conversations: Pat Ellenwood's Essay (p. 48): "We must pay closer attention to what our children and youth observe in our behavior because they imitate those they love. They are reading us even more than they read the books we recommend. Our lives are available for them one chapter or installment at a time. We can turn the plot at any point. They repeat the talk -- the vocabulary, the topics. They say the words and learn the gestures."
While it is our desire to teach our children to think for themselves, it is abundantly clear that they do pick up attitudes and behaviors from the people around them and most notably their parents. What we model is profoundly important. It is also important for us as parents to occasionally challenge our adolescents when we hear them imitating us to see if our children have a basis for their opinion aside from mindlessly repeating our own opinions. One area where this stands out is a certain disdain for Christianity that often exists in young UU’s who have almost no exposure to Christian churches or scripture that is "inherited" from parents who have had painful experiences in their early churchgoing years.
It is wise for us as parents to stop to watch and listen to our children and see what values they project. And to reevaluate the model we provide. Is it consistent with the messages we speak and wish to teach to our children? We all fall short at times, it's human. Our children are a powerful mirror or magnifier of the world around them. What can we learn from listening?
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