If money weren't an issue....

Religious Education

from Sonja Lamicela, DRE

If money weren't an issue....

I've been asked before “If money wasn't an issue what would you do in your RE program?”

I think to myself...hmmm...

·         I'd hire a consistent well trained child care provider for the nursery so that new parents could go to the service and revive their spirit for the hard work of parenting.

·         I'd have a team of at least three people trained for every level of OWL(Our Whole Lives), our comprehensive Unitarian Universalist Sexuality Education Curricula for K-1, 4-5, 7-8, High School, Young Adult and Adults.

·         I'd have the most up to date curricula available to our teaching teams

·         Maybe I'd even take our teachers on a team building cruise to Bermuda each fall

·         I'd send our Youth on Short Term Mission trips so that they can have transformational  experiences that affect their long term social action visions.

·         I'd bring in trainers for our RE teachers to learn more about including children with special needs and Unitarian Universalist history.

·         I'd buy a Star Trek  food synthesize so that every child could have a perfect snack that tastes like cream puffs but is as nutritious as kale.

·         I'd provide transportation to families who are struggling for gas money or a functioning car to get to church.

·         I'd hire sign language interpreters and teaching aids for our special needs children to ensure inclusion for everyone in our Sunday School.

·         I'd build on a “Children's Chapel” so that all of our children could worship in one space several times per year.

·         I would expand our  lending library of spiritually based parenting books to help parents through the sticky parts of raising UU children.

·         I'd have several classes every week for adults to explore their UU faith in a study or discussion format so that everyone could find something that fit their schedule and their needs.

·         I'd give every child a copy of each of our hymnals so that they can explore our music at home.

·         I'd set up a fund to send all of our Youth and/or families to UU camp each summer.

·         I'd send all of our graduating Seniors to General Assembly to claim their voice in the larger movement.

·         Maybe I'd even take all of our middle school children on a World tour to Boston and New Jersey to see our headquarters and where we started in the US and Transylvania and India to see UU churches in other parts of the world.

These are a few things that come to my mind.  What would you dream if Money was not an obstacle?

Making a Home for Multiracial Multiethnic Youth.

In reading Nurturing Children and Youth by Tracy Hurd, I came upon a section in the chapter on Young Adolecents that underscored that "This can be a particularly sensitive time for transracially adopted, multiracial, or multiethnic adolescents.  navigating multiple identities, they may feel the need to choose with whom they will identiry. "  and "Early adolescence is the time when youth seek to be with others who seem like themselves, a challeng for youth who are under-represented in many Unitarian Universlist congregations. "  " In the process of identigying who they are, multiethcnic and multiracial adoclescents are likely to reject all that they are not.  Mutliracial youth often report feeling that they must choose one racial identity in order to fit in somewhere." 

I am exploring how we as a congregation might be able to provide a safe space for youth with mulitracial multiethnic and transracial adoptive experiences.  Perhaps a peer group of other youth who experience the same challenges.  While I personally don't have experience navigating these identity issues, it might be very helpful to seek out an adult in the congregation who might be willing to take up this mission.  To provide a youth group meeting once a month or so when youth with mulitple racial identities can come together to share their experience and the means they use to synthesize their identities, so that no one has to go through all of that alone. 

Being in a multiracial multiethnic community with a fair amount of transracial adoption, I think we are well poised to start this kind of work.  Is there anyone reading who feels that you have the experience to step up to leadership in this area?  If not, do any of you have thoughts on how this work can be undertaken by someone who is essentially white while still making a safe space?

Expect the Best, Prepare for the Worst

Prepare for the Worst

A Small Group Ministry Session
prepared by Sonja Lamicela, 2010

Chalice Lighting:

We light our chalice as a reminder that,

In the face of improbable odds,

Life's ember burns and glows,

A corner of warmth and awareness

amidst the coldness of space

And the indifference of time.

Check In
Topic: What do we as UUs do to prepare ourselves, each other and our children for crises?  Howard Welsh, a UU Vietnam veteran, describes his lack of preparation for the horrors of war in the book Full Circle: Fifteen Ways to Grow Lifelong UUs  by Kate Tweedie Erslev: 
"Our children suffer terribly because of their idealism when they find out what really goes on in the world.  Just as I felt when I was drafted into the U.S. military during the Viet Nam War, they feel unprepared and in a sense betrayed.  They see the UU faith as being irrelevant to their struggles in a cruel society."
On July 27, 2008 a lone shooter entered a UU church in Knoxville, TN, and opened fire during a children's play.  Two people died, several were wounded.  We as adults and our children, also experience disruption to our lives due to death, divorce, moving, bullying, and any of a thousand crises every day. Let's think about these questions: 

• 
  
  How old were you when you lost your innocence about cruelty in the world?
• 
  
  What do you as an adult do when crisis strikes? How was it different when you were a child?
• 
  
  How does your UU faith inform your response to crisis and cruelty?
• 
  
  What are the benefits of sheltering children? What are the risks?
• What are the consequences of being unprepared to face harsh realities?
• What  should we as UUs do to prepare children and ourselves to deal with the worst on a spiritual level? 

Closing Words: Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain!
~author unknown

Intergenerational Worship

"Years ago, I attended with anticipation my first intergenerational service at a Unitarian Universalist church. While this congregation honored and nurtured its children in many ways, what was billed as an intergenerational service was not intergenerational at all. It was a show, professionally run, for children. It looked as though the youngsters had staged a coup d'etat.  The children, who usually spent Sundays in the religious education wing, were now up front.  Most of the congregation was absent.  The few adults who attended were primarily relatives of the children who were performing.  The underlying message was depressing:  Intergenerational means by and for children and their families only; unrealated adults will be bored and should stay at home."  From When Youth Lead by Jill M. Schwendeman

I'd love to see intergenerational services always contain a roots and wings dialog of sorts.  As the readings, one would be done by a child or youth, another by an elderly adult (not just a parent or advisor) both on the same topic.  Thus creating a mini "fishbowl" on the issue at hand.  Each generation I think would be enriched by hearing from the other, and perhaps challenged to speak the other as well.  And there would be more incentive for people without children to stay for the service.

For those of you reading, what are some highlights of intergenerational services that you have been at?  What experiences have really worked to build connection, understanding and a shared sense of the holy in intergenerational worship?

UU Principles and Giving

This is a newsletter article I have developed for use at canvass time.

The UU Principles and Giving
Sonja Lamicela, DRE

Because we acknowledge the inherent worth and dignity of every person, we want to help people. Giving to charities that empower people to rise up from indignity and become strong is one way that we can do this. Working for marriage rights or to defeat hunger and homelessness are ways that we can lift up this principle.

Justice, equity, and compassion in human relations calls us to work towards these aims as a congregation, and in our social justice work. Anti-racism, anti-oppression work is something that many UU congregations engage in to support this principle.

Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations leads us to understand that we all come from a different starting point. That perhaps there are people who cannot give at this time due to life circumstances, or have not come to terms with generosity as a spiritual practice. We need to think first of our own commitment to giving, and let others come along as they are ready.

A free and responsible search for truth and meaning challenges us to search our hearts for what deserves our support and generosity. While giving to the Heifer Foundation may be meaningful to someone who want to empower families to be self supporting, another person may be moved to find an alternative organization because they do not support agricultural use of animals for food. These decisions both have virtue, based on individual spiritual values.

The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and society at large come into play when as a congregation we set our budget and decide upon our shared values about the use of our collective time, talents and treasures. What will we stand for and for what issues will we “put our money where our mouth is.”

The goal of world community with peace, liberty and justice for all challenges us to step up and address issues that are larger than ourselves. You may have heard those who support the military using the phrase “freedom isn't free” or seen the buttons extolling “ignore your rights and they will go away.” In order to create a world in which all of these things are possible, we need to be mindful and support others who can make it their full time job to be mindful of these goals. Organizations like Amnesty International, the Peace Corp and the Coalition to Save Darfur, need financial support to continue their missions.

Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part is something that we can actually support by spending less. Fewer trips to the mall means less gas spent. Goods and services need to be manufactured and shipped to our neighborhoods, consuming more of our planet's resources. In other ways supporting organizations that protect our natural resources, prevent pollution, and work to reduce our impact on the planet are all good causes that we can support.

While the ways in which we express our generosity and the resources we have available to us are varied, our children learn from what they see us do. The way we support our church shows our children what we stand for. The justice work we do, shows our children what we feel is important. The meetings that we attend tell our children what it is worth spending time on. And issues we fail to raise tell our children what is not really important to us. Let us act mindfully in making these decisions, knowing that the next generation is watching.

Our Children's Experience

Jacqui James discusses the importance that we commit to raising our children and youth to become Unitarian Universalists in adulthood. "My children, now grown, reflect on the love and acceptance they felt from most of the congregation in which they grew up. They remember fondly the teachers who cared enough to show up week after week and treat them with respect and acceptance. They don't always remember what the content of the lessons was, but they certainly remember the character and caring of the poeple around them. All of our children and youth deserve nothing less." This is from her essay "Building Strong and Radical Religious Communities" in Essex Conversations.

I'm not sure that this quote captures the essence of her overall point with the essay, but it is the point that stopped me, and made me reread it, and enjoy the clarity with which she expressed this important principle, one which I have embraced since the beginning of my religious education career.

I read Essex conversations at the beginning of my career 3 years ago, so it may well have been this very quote that instilled this belief into me. At teacher trainings, I always go over the UU principles and briefly discuss how they inform us as teachers. For the first principle, it is always this: That no matter what story we tell, or what social justice project we do, if our children do not walk away having experienced that we recognize their inherent worth and dignity, we have failed. And on the contrary, if the lesson plan falls apart, or the project is too demanding, but the child walks away knowing that we honor them, the day is a success.

And, not to fall into the trap of raising self centered children, it is also a part of a successful day if our children, when faced with interpersonal challenges, leave learning to respect the inherent worth and dignity of other children in their class, and members of the congregation and the community at large. They get this best when it is modeled by the adult guides in their class and community.

Hope Not Optimism

In the meditation collection "What We Share" edited by Patricia Frevert, Bruce T. Marshall challenges us to have hope rather than optimism. He describes the difference as follows:

"Optimism, as I understand it, is an attitude of expectaaion that a prticular result will occur - that a person will recover from an illness, that we will achieve a specific goal, that the Publishers Clearing House will pick my nunmber from among the billions submitted. The dictionary defines optimism as "an inclination to anticipate the best possible outcome."
Hope is less specific. It's an attitude that looks for possiblitilty in whatever life deals us. Hope does not anticipate a particular outcome, but keeps before us the possibility that something useful will come from this."

I found this a helpful distinction. It provides an alternative to pessimism and negativity when things aren't going well. I begin to understand the positive pessimists that I have known. It always seemed like an oxymorn that someone would try when they expected to fail. But, i see now that they didn't have expectations, but they still had hope.

Adult Religious Education

I've been giving a lot of thought to Adult Religious Education as I'm planning for the Children's program, and a thought just hit me with the power of the obvious!

To educate our children effectively, we MUST educate our adults!

We can not expect adults to be effective partners in our children's religious education if they themselves do not have the education.

Maria Harris said "the congregation is the curriculum!" When we offer our adults education and enrichment, and they take advantage of it, it creates a culture where everyone is a learner.

By providing opportunities for our adults to grow through worship, small group ministries, social action, and yes, education, we model for our children the activities that we are training them to undertake. And with adults who have had the opportunity to deepen their faith in the congregation, we have a broader pool of teacher resources to call on to help deepen the faith experiences of our children.

Youth and Social Justice

Essex conversations: Logan Harris Essay: “It is also important to work on social action issues. In my mind, there is nothing more empowering and nothing that builds a stronger community than making a difference while working together.”

Logan Harris was a youth who was at that time serving as the Dean of the 2001 YRUU Social Justice Conference. This issue of working on social justice projects is a recurring theme that I hear youth groups struggling with. I feel that there is a strong desire to get into these activities, but a general frustration about how to get started and concern over the amount of time spent planning rather than doing these projects. This is one area where I think it is wise for youth to ask for and accept the help of adults with more logistical experience to mentor them closely through the process. In order to get these adults in place, the first year might need to be planned by the adults relatively exclusively, so that they have the opportunity to learn before they teach. However, ideally, there will be adults and youth who are willing to learn together through the process. This could take the Youth/Adult Relationship to a new level of trust and regard as they each have the opportunity to see the others strengths and weaknesses in action and grow together.

Application

"All understanding involves not only interpretation, but also application." ~ Richard J. Berstein

This is a nightmare to properly credit. I found the quote in Essex Conversations, in the Daniel Harper essay, quoting Richard J. Bernstein, who is referring to the work of Hans-Georg Gadamer. So I am unsure who should get credit for the actual words; However, the sentiment was worth sharing.

In my reading of late, as well as in conversations I have had with several members of UUCB, the theme keeps emerging that words need actions to make them an expression of our faith.

I am very excited that the new Tapestry of Faith Curricula all seem to have a place to incorporate "Faith in Action" as an essential part of the curricula. Our youth group leaders are excited about providing opportunities for deepening asocial justice and worship experiences, and it seems that many of the folks who do community events here are aware of the need to ground even primarily social events in our Faith. I think this is promising for the long term health of this congregation.

To Choose Life!

“The human capacity and involvement in planetary destruction is occurring at such a pace that earth may not be inhabitable for any life form in the near future. These times call for radically new ways of thinking, sustained action in creating new ways of living on earth, and deep connection to the ground of all being and the source of hope and vision. The priestly writer of the Hebrew book of Deuteronomy writes of God, “I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live” (Deuteronomy 30:19). Liberal religious education has before it the ability help us “choose life.” May it rise to the challenge." ~ Essex Conversations: Rev. Dr. M. Susan Harlow essay


In light of the puncture in the ocean floor that has spewed oil into the Gulf of Mexico, an area still unhealed from the massive hurricane Katrina from 5 years ago (a disaster that is also attributed to abuse of the planet by people), this essay rings prophetic. It was written several years ago. It makes me ask myself. What can I do today, to move this trend in the opposite direction? One thing that I can do is help to raise children who are more aware of these issues and who are empowered to choose life. Through experiences like mission trips I'd like to give them the skills they need to work against the destruction. There are probably more tangible ways, more personal ways that I can make changes too.

Praxis

I have often heard the word "praxis" used, and I had a general but vague sense of it's meaning, but then I read this great passage by Richard Gilbert, the former minister of Rochester Unitarian Church, and it finally really made sense.

"It is my conviction" says Gilbert, " that every Unitarian Universalist, from youngest to oldest, ought to understand that social justice work is as integral to the religious life as spiritual growth. I believe one of our major religious education tasks in the twenty-first century is helping people transform their beliefs and values into effective and meaningful action in the world - a process that has been called praxis."

So praxis it appears is the fulcrum of transformation. In recent weeks I have been reading a lot of curricula in preparation for the new church year. Praxis is an element that I search for in every new curricula. My question is how will this curriculum help our children live their religion? The new Tapestry of Faith curricula seem to take this question and run with it. I love the Faith In Action sections of each lesson, and will encourage the teachers in my program to use them whenever possible.

For Discussion: If anyone is reading this, please share a story of how you have taken a value or a lesson and transformed it into an action or behavior that was effective. I'd love to store up some ideas to create fertile ground for our children and youth.

Modeling for our Children

Essex Conversations: Pat Ellenwood's Essay (p. 48): "We must pay closer attention to what our children and youth observe in our behavior because they imitate those they love. They are reading us even more than they read the books we recommend. Our lives are available for them one chapter or installment at a time. We can turn the plot at any point. They repeat the talk -- the vocabulary, the topics. They say the words and learn the gestures."

While it is our desire to teach our children to think for themselves, it is abundantly clear that they do pick up attitudes and behaviors from the people around them and most notably their parents. What we model is profoundly important. It is also important for us as parents to occasionally challenge our adolescents when we hear them imitating us to see if our children have a basis for their opinion aside from mindlessly repeating our own opinions. One area where this stands out is a certain disdain for Christianity that often exists in young UU’s who have almost no exposure to Christian churches or scripture that is "inherited" from parents who have had painful experiences in their early churchgoing years.

It is wise for us as parents to stop to watch and listen to our children and see what values they project. And to reevaluate the model we provide. Is it consistent with the messages we speak and wish to teach to our children? We all fall short at times, it's human. Our children are a powerful mirror or magnifier of the world around them. What can we learn from listening?

Education vs Faith Development

In Essex Conversations: Visions for Lifespan Religious Education published by Skinner House, Barry Andrews said  "Being very intellectual to begin with, it is easier for us to approach the task of religious education in a highly conceptual, cognitive way.  Unfortunately, we end up teaching religion, not faith."

What a remarkable insight.  I feel that it is important to make sure that we provide opportunities to develop faith through experiences of transcendence.  Or at the very least build awareness of the things that we trust to be reliable in every day life. 

We want our children to be articulate in Unitarian Universalist values, and in religious history.  But more importantly I feel we need to give them a basis of trust, or faith, if you will in the beliefs that will sustain them throughout their lives.  As UU's there is some flexibility in what those specific beliefs are, but the need to have them is still present.  Our program strives to expose our children to many beliefs, teaches them to test and challenge those beliefs so that as they mature, they have developed personal beliefs that they can truly trust and hold as their own and depend on to see them through life's more difficult times. 

Introduction

I am the new Director of Religious Education at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Buffalo, and I am a candidate to become a Credentialed Religious Educator through the UUA's RE Credentialing program.  Part of the work I am doing to prepare for this is an extensive reading list.

As I read, and prepare my portfolio, as well as in the course of my day to day work, I frequently have insights I would like to share with people.  I welcome feedback and exchange of ideas.  So for the parents, teachers and youth in my program as well as fellow religious educators and anyone else who may enjoy reading, I've decided to create this blog.

The title comes from a quote from John Murray, the minister credited with bringing Universalism to America.


 “You may possess only a small light, but uncover it, let it shine, use it in order to bring more light and understanding to the hearts and minds of men and women. Give them not Hell, but hope and courage.  Do not push them deeper into their theological despair, but preach the kindness and everlasting love of God.”

John Murray

I hope you enjoy your reading.

Sincerely,

Sonja Lamicela, DRE UUCB