Where do we come from? Who are we? Where are we going?

Unitarian Universalism is a growing, evolving religion.  As religions go, we are very responsive to changes in culture and science.  In fact at times we are on the leading edge of both of these things.  Charles Darwin, the father of evolution,  was a Unitarian, and Tim Berners-Lee, the visionary behind the world wide web is a Unitarian Universalist.

But as human evolution takes us back to the apes, our religious evolutions has come through the Jewish and Christian traditions.  Where exactly we branched off is as hard to define as the shift when ape became man or when "races" formed from a single family of hominids. There are many moments where we left something behind to become more as we are today, but it is a continuing process as we become less defined by the protestantism that we were firmly grounded in as little as 100 years ago.

I have had the pleasure of late to share a Friday Evening Sabbath with a Jewish family.  I was struck by the ritual, the very ancient nature of the language and the ceremony, and the observances.  Many UUs may question the rigidity of rules that are followed by such ancient religions and find them stifling, and many modern Jews would agree and throw off the orthodox rules that don't make sense to them, however, there are aspects of these old rituals that bring order, peace, rest to even the most modern observers in this busy world. 

While Unitarian Universalism doesn't require specific spiritual practices, we do encourage our members to find ways to, as Martha Munson, my first ministerial colleague at First UU in Syracuse would say, "Live Your Religion!" 

Having ritual spiritual practices helps to ground us in our faith.  A morning meditation, a prayer or even a secular ritual of gratitude at dinner, the dedication of our children, the flower communion or water in-gathering and of course the lighting of our chalice ground us in our faith.  For some it is service such as caring for the church, or a commitment to social justice action.  For Unitarian Universalists, these rituals are by and large very new, our "traditions" have largely been formed in the 20th century, yet are drawn from a hunger for connection to the holy that stretches back down our family tree to the most ancient gathering around the sacred fire. 

As you gather with other UUs perhaps you can discuss what rituals you observe as a family.  What connects you to the Spirit of Life?  If you don't have any mindful rituals, consider getting a book of meditations from the UU bookstore and reading them with your family, or working on them alone.  Make Sunday or any other night of the week that works for you a Sabbath, to unplug, spend time with your family and give yourself rest from the frantic pace of modern society.

However you choose to "live your religion" it is a gift to your children if you share it with them and help them understand what it is about your beliefs that made you choose these specific rituals.  You will find that as they practice them, they begin to own them, and that is how faith is internalized and becomes part of their identities.  This in turn helps to shape how they go forth and create the world.

What will Unitarian Universalism look like in 100 years? 1000 years? If history is any indicator, it will look very different from the way we practice it today, however, I have no doubt that an ancient thread of humanity will continue to play it's part in defining what needs that religion meets.

Identity and Vocation...the Call

Frederick Buechner defines vocation as "the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."

The first time I heard that quote was a few months ago in a sermon on call by Michelle Buhite, intern minister at my the congregation I serve as DRE, the Unitarian Universalist Church of Buffalo.  Today I read it again in the book The Courage to Teach:Exploring the inner landscape of a Teacher's Life by Parker J. Palmer.

In the past month the theme of identity has kept popping up in all of the work I do, both personal and professional. How a person defines herself and then acts determines to a great extent the integrity with which she relates to the world.  Even when you know yourself, you are at risk of not living with integrity when fear of outside judgement keeps you from living your own values, and instead trying too hard to meet what you believe to be others expectations for you.

When I began my work as a religious educator in a congregation where I was a known entity, I moved into it with ease, and I easily pleased the people I was working for.  Afterall, they had hired me with full knowledge of who I was and how I might perform my duties.

When I began my second job in the same field, I struggled at first.  I realized that people didn't know me well, and they frequently voiced expectations for how I should do my job based on how my predecessor had done her job.  I tried in vain to be like her in all the ways that had pleased people.  Then finally one day, about six months into the job, I woke up and realized that I was being "not Martha" badly.  Not only was I not living up to their expectations for how Martha did things, I wasn't doing a good job of showing them how "Sonja" did things in an authentic way.

Now, to be fair, I don't really know how much of the tension was from them really expecting me to "be" Martha, and my own insecurity in following a well loved predecessor.  I'm sure at times I projected dissatisfaction on them, when I myself felt a sense of failure at doing a poor job.  I could feel that I was not coming from place that I could authentically own.  I do know however, that when I named this problem, I received a great deal of support from the minister, and the people on the RE committee to open up to my own way of doing things.

Once I did this my relationship to the congregation changed almost instantly.  Those who I perceived to be my greatest critics were suddenly complimenting my work.  I felt more at ease with parents and teachers, and was more able to let an occasional jab from a detractor go without letting it grate at me all day.  While I do think it is very important to keep my finger on the pulse of the program, and respond to areas where people feel under served, I now feel more comfortable responding from my own experience and skill sets. 

When I am able to interact from a place of confidence in my own knowledge, or humility around my growing edges, I find that my relationships with the people in the congregation have the integrity that builds trust.  We can learn and grow together, and solve problems rather than get defensive, and angry and disappointed.

I now really love my congregation.  And I think they really like me.  For me.  And that's all either of us expect me to be. Now I feel the depth of gladness that called me to this work, and I think, I'm beginning to to feed the deep hunger that caused my congregation to invite me to serve them.  I now feel secure in my calling as their DRE.